Friday, June 01, 2007

The Washington Post Style Invitational recently held a competition for readers to take any word from the dictionary and alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter and supplying a new definition. Here are some of this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (n): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting another to sleep with you.
3. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease in one's bones.
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n): The gruelling grind of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (n): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler Effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.