Tuesday, April 10, 2007
The Secret To Making Changes
I used to work as a lifestyle/relationship coach before and clients who come to me often say something like, "Can you make my relationship work", "Can you make me stop eating so much" or something along those lines which basically says "Please, take responsibility for my problem and magically make me change so I don't have to make an effort or suffer any hardship".
Interestingly enough, this is something that is also common in seminars and "self-development" workshops. People come to the seminars expecting the organizers/speakers to make changes in their life...for them!
It may burst someone's bubble, but it really doesn't work like that.
NO ONE ELSE CAN EVER MAKE A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE!
That's the truth. No one in this world can make you change. There is only one person who can make you change, and that is YOU.
You can decide at any time to make changes in your life and when you've made the decision you follow it through with action, including help from other people if necessary, and you will succeed at making those changes.
When I am talking about making decisions, I'm not talking about making a decision and then doing the opposite, for example deciding to lose weight and then going to sit on the sofa, watch TV and eat pizza.
I'm talking about a DECISION where you burn your bridges and there is no going back. Where you having committed body, soul and mind to following through on the decision. The type of decision where you get results and make powerful changes.
Once you have made this Decision (and yes, it deserves a capital D), you will succeed because you throw all of your resources behind it and take consistent action to achieve it.
Everything you have in your life right now is there because in some shape or form, you've created it. You must take responsibility for these things in your life and accept that you've created them. Once you have done this, as part of deciding you are going to make the change in your life, you will find it much easier to make the changes.
Whether you are in debt, unhappy in your job or relationship or life, you have created it and as such, YOU are the one who can change it.
You'll be interested to know I have another type of client who comes to me. They say something like, "I want to make this change in my life, can you help me to ..."
Between this type of client and the "Make me change" type of client, which do you think gets the best results?
You've got it. The "can you help me" client gets the better and faster results, because they have already decided to make the change in their life and acknowledge the fact that they just need a little bit of external help to make the change happen. These clients also get permanent results, whereas the "make me change" clients often regress back because they didn't really want to make the change anyway.
Look at the areas of your life you want to change and acknowledge how you have created them and brought them about. Then make the decision to change that area of life and really commit to the decision. And then, you will make the change you desire.