Friday, October 13, 2006

I've just come across a book which I believe will hold special meaning for single women who have lost hope of finding their mate. The book is "Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less" by Nancy Slotnick and it reveals an easier route to finding Mr. Right. The main theme of the book -- and the catchy metaphor -- is that if you want to find love, you've got to turn on your charm and your availability to attract it. Here are a few tips to help you tee off:

• Spend 15 hours a week putting yourself out there. Many people instinctively balk at this number, but if you think about the time you spend pursuing other interests, your search for love should get the same effort. Plus, once you're in a relationship, you'll be spending at least this amount of time together. Go to coffee shops, take a new class, or do some online dating!
  
  
• Let him do the chasing. It's controversial and seems anti-feminist, but Nancy believes that it's the men who should be doing the calling and date planning-initially. She's quick to stress that she doesn't believe in playing hard to get or listening to The Rules. She just thinks that men who are truly interested and serious about a woman will make the effort to pursue in the beginning of the relationship. It's a way to separate the wheat from the chaff. So relax and follow his lead initially.
  
  
• Don't play hard to get, be hard to get. Nancy says, and I agree, that love comes knocking when you are busy with your own life. You've got to keep your cablight on, but don't wait around or put your life on hold until you have a man. You never know who you might meet simply by living your life.
  
  
• Sex doesn't equal a relationship. If you decide to do it, you can't assume he's going to commit. Make your boundaries clear before you get into the bedroom. A long explanation isn't necessary. Just say, "I'm not comfortable having sex unless I'm in an exclusive relationship." That's it. The ball is in his court.
  
  

The book's highlight is basically on making dating a priority while not at all taking it seriously. In essence, it all boils down to having fun while living a good life. Now, isn't that what dating is all about?