Friday, February 24, 2006

Surviving Heartbreak Hell
by Rachelle Arlin Credo



It's been months since your breakup but you're still stuck in bed grieving over your lost love. You couldn't eat (or stop eating), sleep or work because he's all you could ever think of. You keep repeating your heartbreak mantra, "Why did he leave me...what did I do?" as you succumb to a series of hysterical crying fits. You’re officially a victim of a broken heart.

So how do you smart from a brush-off? Here are some tips to help you survive heartbreak hell.

1. Lose it

Moan. Sob. Let it all hang out. Rid yourself of all-consuming anger and vent every ounce of vitriol in your system. Allow yourself a good wallow. Take a pillow and pretend it was him and do everything with it the way you'd want to get back at him. Throw all his letters and photos away. Call your friends and tell them your heartaches for the 20th time. Grieve your heart out on a guy who was no better than a rotten carcass.

2. Accept what you can't change

So, it's over. This may be hard to swallow but the reality is it's all over and there's nothing you can do about it. You are left without a choice but to believe and accept it. Remember, acceptance is the key to healing.

3. Work It Out

Put your positive attitude at work and head to the gym for some 30-minute work out a day. Exercise won't only sweep the mopey mood away but it will also make you feel and look good as it helps pump out endorphins, the body's natural chemicals that make you feel strong and oozing with sex appeal.

4. Aromatherapy for the heart

Aromatherapy is believed to lift depression and soothe irritable nerves. If you haven't tried it, you should try it now as it works wonders not just to your body but also to your mind and spirit. Here's a quick recipe: Fill a 10-ounce bottle of organic vegetable oil with 9 drops of lavender oil, 15 drops of sandalwood oil, 4 drops of rose essential oil and 10 drops of warm water. Dispense 10 drops of the mixture to a warm bath and you're ready to soak!

5. Put a front if necessary

You may still be experiencing emotional turmoil inside but if you stay confined within the four walls of your room chances are you'll feel even more miserable. Get out and show the world that you're not an emotional wreck. Crack a smile and flash those pearly whites. At first, you may find it awkward putting on a face but soon enough you'd become so good at it you'd be doing it for real, without even noticing it yourself.

6. Adopt a pet

Need some lovin'? Get a pet. Pets aren't only cuddly and affectionate but are also a good diversion of your time and focus. Sure you crave human affection but unlike humans, your pet can't talk so the chances of getting yourself hurt are slim, at least not emotionally.

7. Close the door

Don't be a fool for love. If he keeps calling you to ask for another chance or to tell you that he has someone new but wants to stay as friends, don't bite. You won't only be allowing yourself to fall in love with him again but you're also making yourself believe subconsciously that there's something left in him for you when the truth is, there's none. False hopes mean nothing but emotional boo-boos.

8. Get busy

Discover things you love to do that you weren't able to explore because he didn't approve of them when you were still together. Schedule night-outs with friends and engage in activities you haven't done before. With so many things to occupy your mind, you'd be so busy to even think about your heartbreak.

9. Move on

An end of a relationship doesn't mean an end of you. You don't need a man to make you feel like a real woman. If he can't see what's beautiful and special about you, what kind of man is he? Not someone worth your time, it's clear. Not someone who deserves you either.

Breakups can be very painful and tormenting. Sometimes, it even makes us feel like dying. Funny how we feel so hedonistically wonderful when we are in love then end up feeling gruesomely dreadful after a breakup. Nevertheless, it's a risk that we all have to take. While there's promise in loving, there are no guarantees. So live and love. Get hurt and love again. After all, there's no joy without pain and no bliss without hell.